Invite
Children to Have a Good Work Experience
First, we need to
build a relationship with our children. Having a relationship with our children
will help us know and understand what motivates them and how to properly
communicate with them. For example, I always wanted to learn how to cook. When
I was younger, I asked my mom if I could help her cook, and a few times she said,
“let me do it because you will make a mess.” When she said that, I was sad
because I wanted to learn with her and have that moment with her. Back then, I
did not know that it was one of the ways I would bond and be closer to my
mother. After a while, I started to cook with my mom, and I loved it so much. I
learned how to cook, and I also learned how to help her while she was cooking
for us. I have used this skill many times after, and there were times when she
needed me to take over because she could not do it. This is one of my fondest
experiences with my mother. She incentivized me to become a cooperative person
about cooking to my family. Today, I love to cook and make yummy things for the
people around me because I love to see their delighted faces while eating.
Second, sometimes we do not know our children or how to
properly incentive them. This is the one of the main things you could be doing
wrong. When we think about, how can we make my children to be cooperative in
the home? You might be thinking, “I will give my them chores, and if they do
not do them, I will take way something that they like, so they will learn.”
This way of thinking is not helpful at all because you are not including them;
you are using them as an object to get something you want. I can give you other
examples of wrong approaches such as, giving them money, making them do the
chores alone, and giving them punishments for not doing them. All these
approaches are wrong because you are using your children as vehicles and
objects. Think about a situation where you felt your parents were using you as
vehicles or as an object to get something done. How did you feel? Was it
motivating? Probably your answer will be no. There is a reason why the answer
is no; it is because those approaches did not motivate you to be cooperative.
Finally, what could we do to create a nice experience for
them? It is not an easy thing to change the way we think or see and apply a
different approach that will invite and motivate our children to be cooperative
without forcing them to do something. Most of the time, it will be challenging,
but these approaches will help your children to be cooperative and find joy in
it. Here are some examples of good approaches that will make all the difference
between being cooperative and being compelled to do something. First, we must
invite our children to help and explain why we need their help, Second, we need
to do it together, remember it is a time for you to connect with them and
helping them find joy in it. Third, make it fun, like a “party time,” cleaning
the bathroom can be fun. Finally work with your children by teaching and listening
to them. If your child has an idea about how it can be done differently, listen
to it and validate it. Validate their initiative of thinking outside the box. All
these approaches will incentivize and invite your children be cooperative. This
good work experience will change how they feel about helping around at home.
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