What is Behind Your Actions?

         During our lifetime we have many relationships with people. Some of them are good and some are not so good. Did you ever wonder why some relationships do not work quite well as the others? Today I want to talk about the meaning behind our actions or behavior. It is important to think about what type of message we are giving and receiving from people. Most problems in our relationships can be caused by a misunderstanding in the meaning of our actions. Think about one relationship that you would like to improve or why a specific relationship did not work. Think about your behavior towards that person, then ponder how you could improve or what you could do to change this relationship. While you are pondering, I will explain few principles that I learnt that could help you and me to improve our relationships.

The first principle I would like to explain is understanding. You might be thinking what do I need to understand? The answer is simple you need to understand the background of the person that you have a relationship with. How can you understand why the person is acting in a certain way, if you do not understand the reasons that person might have to act in that way? Many of our behaviors and actions are guided by what we experienced in the past. For example, a person that always needed to do things by him or herself, might not understand your reasons for doing something for him or her. He or she could interpret your actions as the opposite of your reasons. A person’s actions will tell you everything you need to know. Pay attention to how the person reacts, and then you will have an idea of how that person thinks. Now that we talked about understanding the reasons of another person, the next step is sharing your reasons.

The second principle I would like to explain today is communication. Communication is an important step towards improving our relationships and avoid conflict. As I said before, all people have a reason for acting the way they do. We will only be able to understand a person’s reasons if we talk openly with that person. Talking in my perspective is the most important principle because only through healthy conversation we will be able to understand a person’s actions and make a strong bond with him or her. If someone does something you do not like, speak openly with that person. Explain the reason why you did not like that something. Let the other person explain his or her reasons for his or her actions, listen and come to an agreement. Do not let your heart to be at war with that person only because you do not understand his or her reasons. Now that we know that communication is an important part of understanding a person’s actions, let’s not judge before we know a person’s reasons.

The last principle I would like to explain is to not judge. It is very easy for us to judge someone’s actions, without knowing the reasons behind the action. Usually when we judge, we put our hearts at war with that person. When I say, “hearts at war,” I am referring to feelings such as impatience, sadness, anger, frustration etc. It does not mean you hate that person; it refers to all those negatives feelings that we might feel. It is important to keep our hearts at peace and communicate with the person, so we can understand his or her reasons. When we judge other’s people actions, we lose the opportunity to have a healthy conversation that might strengthen our relationships. Instead, we assume things to be true in a matter that could destroy our relationships. Think about, how many fights could we avoid if we understand, communicate, and do not judge? Feel free to share your ideas and suggestions. Remember here is a place where we can create healthy and strong relationships and environment.