Let’s talk about how our marriage is going to be like.

Now that you and your fiancé have committed to each other, let’s talk about the boundaries, goals, and how we will deal with certain situations in your marriage. It is important to set boundaries, goals and how to act in different situations before you get married. When you set boundaries, you are likely to have a healthy marriage. When you set goals, you and your spouse are likely to be walking in the same direction. Once you and husband agree about how to act in different situations you are likely to avoid fights, misunderstandings, and disagreements. How can boundaries, goals, and actions can affect your marriage?

First, I would like to talk about boundaries and how can they affect your marriage. The definition of boundary is a limit of subject or sphere of activity. Boundaries are important part of marriage because you want to make your partner happy and respect him or her. When you talk about boundaries, you set boundaries that are comfortable for both of you, and you also get to know what each other likes, in this way you avoid conflict, disrespect, and hurtful situations on your marriage.

When I am talking about boundaries I am not only talking about sexual boundaries, I am also talking about emotional boundaries, financial boundaries, marriage boundaries, children boundaries, personal boundaries, etc. There are many things to talk about when you are setting boundaries. For example when my husband and I were engaged we talked about the boundaries we would set to avoid huge disagreements. We have decided when things start to escalate in our disagreements, one of us would give the other some space, a “time out,” so the other one could calm down. For example, this time out could be going out for a walk. Why did we decide it? Because we both know the boundaries of ourselves and our marriage, and we want to have a happy and healthy marriage.

Second, I would like to discuss about setting a goal as couple, and how it can make a difference in your marriage. When you get married it is important to make your goals clear to your spouse and have your spouse’s goals clear to you. When you both know each other goals, they are not only your spouse’s goals, but they are also your goals and you both would be working together to reach those goals. It will help you to understand what motivates your spouse, and what makes him or her happy. Another part of setting goals is when you and your spouse make your own goals for your future life, marriage, children, housing, studies, etc. Making goals together is a blessing because when you both know where your focus is, it can strengthen your marriage as you both are working to conquer things together while building up your marriage. Couples that work together are working on making their marriage unified and solid.

Third, I would like to talk about how to react to situations that will happen in your marriage. During your life, there are many situations that can happen regardless of your choice. How would your spouse react during a problem regarding health, children, parenting, debts, and other situations? It is important to talk about these situations, once it happens in your life you already know where your spouse stands and how he or she will react to it. You and your spouse can prepare yourselves mentally, emotionally, and physically for things that might happen in the future, doing this you can avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, and weakening your marriage. The purpose of talking about how you or your spouse will react to certain situations is to promote union, not to criticize each other.

I believe that when you set boundaries, goals, and how to react to situations in life can save your marriage from many problems. These conversations are important and necessary to have a healthy and happy marriage.