What Role Does a Man and a Woman Play When It Comes to Sexual Intimacy?

            Have you ever heard the phrase “men just want sex,” or “I must feel loved first otherwise I won’t do anything.” These are typical phrases that people always paraphrase when it comes to sexual intimacy. Is there truth in these phrases? What is behind men’s mind and actions? What is behind women’s mind and actions? Today I will share a different perspective about the roles woman and man play in intimacy. There is a huge misunderstanding between these statements, and I would like to address these questions in the following paragraphs.

            First, let talk about these phrases “men just want sex” or “I must feel loved first otherwise I won’t do anything.” I believe that there is some truth in these phrases, and some lies too. Men do not just want sex. Naturally men are more sexual than women, but it does not mean that they just want sex. In fact, men make bonds with women through intimacy. On other hand, women are naturally less sexual than men because women are governed by feelings instead of nature. However, that does not mean we are not sexual, so we must feel emotionally connect to a man to want to be sexual. That is the reason why I believe these statements can be true and false at the same time. It only depends on how you interpret them.

            Second, what is behind a man’s mind and actions? the answer for this question is simple, men need to have intimacy to feel safe, warm, and connected to their partner. This does not mean that your partner will only love you when you both have sexual relationships. It means that men will feel a strong connection after sexual intimacy. Usually, men are not likely to share or express their feelings as women do, but after sexual intimacy is the moment were men feel most open to share what they truly feel about their partners, because they are on their most “vulnerable” stage. What does that mean? Sexual relationships are one of the most intimate moments a man can share with someone else, so it means that he is truly open and without walls. He is less likely to hide behind society’s stigmas or hide his own feelings. If a man truly loves, trusts, and cares for his partner, this is the moment he will most sincerely open with his partner.

             Third, what is behind woman’s mind and actions? Women are very emotional and less likely to hide their feelings. Usually for a woman to have a sexual intimacy with her partner she must first be connected emotionally with that person. That does not mean that a woman will not have a strong bond with her partner after sexual intimacy; it means that for a woman to be sexual with a man, she first must feel safe, warm, and connected. Why is that? We like to feel loved, good about ourselves, and that our partners want to be with us. That is a great part of sexual intimacy for woman. When we feel loved, appreciated, and connected we make a strong bond during sexual intimacy, and we are more likely to show who we truly are without any fear of being rejected, used, or judged.

            Finally, I believe that we should not be so judgmental when it comes to these statements. As we can see now, men and women are different, and they do connect differently. There is nothing wrong with it. We must seek to understand our partners’ mind and actions, instead of just making false statements about our partner. For you to have strong and healthy sexual intimacy, you must be willing to open up what is behind your thoughts and actions.